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Friday, May 18th, 2007

Subject:anonymous!
Time:12:44 pm.
Post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything.
A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your Journal to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your Journal) have to say.
Comments: 5 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Sunday, July 3rd, 2005

Time:2:50 pm.
Post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything.
A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your Journal to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your Journal) have to say.
Comments: 1 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Thursday, December 18th, 2003

Time:10:44 pm.
Post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything.
A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your Journal to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your Journal) have to say.
Comments: 14 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Thursday, September 18th, 2003

Time:10:32 pm.
Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
Self-Lovin'18.3%
I wouldn't shake hands, if I were you
64.9%
Shamelessness35.7%
Puts 'em on the glass
79.3%
Sex Drive 52.6%
A fool for love, but not always
77.6%
Straightness8.9%
Knows the other body type like a map
45%
Gayness 83.9%
Repressed, are we?
83.1%
Fucking Sick92%
Refreshingly normal
89.8%
You are 52.43% pure
Average Score: 72.5%
Comments: 1 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Tuesday, May 20th, 2003

Time:3:50 pm.
i often get forgotten about. i guess everybody else in this world has more interesting things to say or ideas to go do. or just is a better person then me.

im so fucking lonely today i really hope going out later helps.
Comments: 5 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Time:10:36 am.
should be at graduation but im not.
what a loser friend i am!
i hate driving. .

the past 2 days have been blah we need to make them exciting people! all my home friends need to come home a s a p!!

o and a guess a phone call xpressing that you hope somebody is alive these days constitutes somehow getting put on ignore. owell thats something i shall not worry about no longer.
Comments: 1 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Saturday, November 23rd, 2002

Time:8:14 pm.
i am pure lonliness
i am empty air
i am drifting cloud

i have no form
i am boundless
i have no rest

i have no house
i pass through places
i am an indifferant wind

i am the white bird
flying away from land
i am the horizon

i am a wave
that will never reach the shore

i am an empty shell
cast up on the sand

i am the moonlight
on the cottage with no roof

i am the forgotten dead
in the broken vault on the hill

i am the old man
carrying his water in a pail

i am light
travelling in empty space

i am a dimishing star
speeding away
out of the universe

-kathleen raine-
Comments: 11 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Saturday, June 29th, 2002

Subject:come on kids dance along!!!
Time:2:05 am.
http://www.roz.org/flash/banana.swf
Comments: 4 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Saturday, May 25th, 2002

Time:3:55 am.
The good intentions that you had
Now only came to this
And although she saw the mark
The arrow missed
Comments: 4 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002

Time:1:44 am.
http://www.onlyundiesclub.com/
Comments: 2 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Saturday, May 18th, 2002

Time:2:35 pm.
nice work - starlla20


Comments: rock,paper,scissor.

Monday, May 6th, 2002

Subject:omg!!!
Time:11:10 pm.
Mood: shocked.
so i talk to this boy from out west from the fan club like all the time which hangs out with mxpx and is friends with them. tonight he asked if my birthday was tomaro. and im like uh huh. so he goes whats your fone number? and umm i was like why?!. well after i second i obliged figuring it was just my cell number anyways.. and so i began writing a paper(which i have yet to write the first sentence) and jen c calls ,and wen the fone rang i was like omgosh whos it going to be?!? it was jen i saw on the caller id and i talked ot her for awhle, then OMG the call waiting went off. im like area code 323 or something whos that? then im like jen hold on, i shoulda said illcall you back if i knew what was going to come, so i pick it up and the voice on the other end was like hi ann-marie? its your birthday tomaro and i wanted to say it a day early since i cant tomaro. (meanwhile i was like umm is this rich playing a joke ? omg it was MIKE HERRERA!) so taking a second to realize who it was, i was like omgosh thank you so much for calling!! so he went on talking to me, about how old i am going to be, and where i live, and that last nyc show they played and how much it kicked ass, and warped, and the 2 new albums, and the mxpx puppies and my puppies, and arthur and their band arthur. he thought that was funny.. how my puppies name was arthur hehe.and he kept sayin how the fan club is going to improve in the future and blah, ummo and how i never seen arthur before and how they have to come east and how the nyc show they last played he ranked one of the best of last year by him.and his wife and yuri's wife was in the backround..OMG!! im still in shock..just my favoritist bands singer, a normal guy calling me for my birthday!!!!!
this birthday might end up being the best ever.. lets just see how tomaro goes! ;)
xoxox
am
Comments: 6 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Friday, May 3rd, 2002

Time:12:18 am.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20020502/ap_on_re_us/dog_adrift_18

thats a nice little good to the heart story :)
Comments: 1 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Friday, April 26th, 2002

Time:3:53 am.
this shite is friends only from now on.
Comments: rock,paper,scissor.

Subject:i think the day i understand this world and the people in it will be the day i die..
Time:2:10 am.
i agree with that profound thoguht of mine. i cant fucking type. i cant beleive there is absolutley nothing to eat in my house so i had to just resort to eating a soy onion burger. quite tasty but i woulda prefered my pal, frozen mac and cheese...
i dont have off for fucking lit im pissed, i have to try super hard tomaro to get somebody to cover my shift or switch with me.. :( im going ot be realy sad if they cant!!
blahblahblah..started studyin for the speech final.
boring. and i have no clue what my topic is going to be for the last speech. i cant think of any good events in my life to talk about, or a person that i can talk about or anything to talk about at all..
i hafta start writing for my lit final too which is this wednesday.. :( i picked an easy questoin just now have to find the quotes..
i hpe im making the right decison by choosing 4 easy sounding courses at my first semster at william paterson.
my sister set a date today for her wedding march 29 of next year. i cant bleieve they are doing it soo fast!!
ufb is playin in less then 3 weeks woohoo!
my birthday is in less then 2 weeks yay! but i really dont wanna be turning 20, not a teen anymore.. its really sad. im turning 12 instead :)
too much caffiene= annmarie closing starbucks like a madwomen, doing garbages all night, making everything clean super clean.
omgosh i was a nut tonight..
wow its 215am already wow. doesnt feel like that. where are all my aim peeps?!?!
~am
Comments: rock,paper,scissor.

Thursday, April 25th, 2002

Subject:ultimatefakebook-real drums :)
Time:4:40 pm.
I bought your record, and I fell crestfallen
By the borrowed blisters of an old time zone
Cuz I remember when the backbeat wasn't programmed in
and heroes were still human and messed up


And they rocked on real drums
don't let this carry on, dear son
Real drums forever...

I guess I can't say much, cuz you got me dancin'
But if this ain't new disco, it sure as hell comes close
And I'll smile if you win, but now you've got me wondering
if this means you're inspired or washed up
Comments: rock,paper,scissor.

Wednesday, April 24th, 2002

Time:10:25 pm.
Mood: blah.
haha thers a new blah mood thing, unless i never realized it was there. i meant to write this like 2 hours ago but i dont know what distracted me. think im going to bed early tonight.. was late to class this morning, come on duh its wedesday im always late unles we have a test, after that chugged along to the libria and saw eric, jen c called me and told me something surprising. im hapy for melanie :) just surprised they are talking again..i feel bad we havnet spoken at all :(
i realized alot today about alot of things.. first off i rush into things way to often, second, sometimes i push people away from just gettin a weird feeling about them, i dont know if the second one is a good or bad thing.
enough about that
i got an A on my last comm paper!! yay!! the one i spend the least time on i got an A go figure.
left lit early today, got my final, went to starbucks to get my tips which didnt amoutn up to much. im kind apissed but i only worked 3 days. blah that means next weeks are goign to suck donkey balls but waht am i suppose tto do..surf and skate kicked major assage!!
i need to wash my face. i put a new pic up today
xox
am'

ps. chet i apologize again for the misunderstand :)
xoxox
Comments: 3 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Subject:thought this phone ringing was funnny
Time:8:02 pm.
Comments: rock,paper,scissor.

Monday, April 22nd, 2002

Time:10:49 pm.
LOVING YOU

(reprinted from the encyclopedia psychedelica vol. 15)

You are beautiful. You are perfect. The concept is simple, yet integrating it into our daily lives can sometimes seem impossible. Although we may feel that to deny the fundamental beauty of human beings is to rob creation of intelligence, consciously or unconsciously we continue to criticize ourselves and our bodies. With this criticism come frustration: we can understand the importance of self love in a minute, yet it seems to take a lifetime to put into practice. We wouldn't criticize a leaf because it wasn't perfect enough, or reject a baby because it wasn't good enough. So why do we still give ourselves such a hard time, even when we feel that it will lead to some sort of improvement. Parents and teachers tend to believe that it is their duty to show children how to integrate into society. Consequently we grow up suppressing our desires and needs in order to be "acceptable." Even rebellion can create behavior patterns that inhibit the path to self love when inhibition is no longer appropriate. It is hard to remain focused on the fact that society is the imperfect machine, not us. Our society has evolved into a regimented set of consumer stereotypes that do not encourage us to express or explore the fundamental nature of our being. Media and advertising bombard us with superficial idealism that has little bearing on reality. Religious traditions that told people they were essentially sinful creatures, redeemable only by self denial, still influence our subconscious minds, associating self love with vanity. Victorian values may appear to be part of the long distant past, but they still permeate our culture and subsequently our minds. Freud aspired only to turn despair into ordinary, everyday unhappiness, yet with a spiritual dimension in our lives we know much more than this is achievable. Even though we are aware of the fallacies of these influences, while they remain in mass consciousness they influence our thoughts and feelings. We cannot expect ourselves to be rid in a moment of all the thought patterns instinctively adopted in childhood. As Ken Keyes shows in his Handbook to Higher Consciousness, moving from our security sensation and power addiction into a "love consciousness" is a committed and constant struggle. Many people avoid exploring self love, either because they have put so many blocks on their own emotions that they are not aware of not loving themselves, or because they fear taking the lid off what appears to be a can of worms: all the hurt, fear, anger and prejudice caused by negative experiences in the past. It often takes a deep emotional experience, either negative or positive to push people into the path of self love. Quite suddenly none of our old thought and behavior patterns seem to make sense. This is when "we finally give up the struggle to find fulfillment "out there," we have nowhere to go but within. It is at this moment that the light begins to dawn"(Shaki Gawain). Once this happens the seeds of self love are truly sown, and we fully realize that peace and happiness are states of mind not dependent on outside circumstances." The joy of the discovery often dissipates slightly once we recognize the enormousness of the task ahead of us. Our negative thoughts go deep into our subconsciousness minds. As Louise L. Hay points out, "the more we dwell upon our negative beliefs about ourselves the more permanent they become in our lives." So how do we eliminate them? Positive affirmation may sound silly at first, but fucking hell man, it really works. Writing down positive statements about ourselves helps to bring the root of a negative belief to the surface. Once it's in the open, we can let go of it forever. This process can be painful, but it is very powerful. Louise L. Hay cured herself of cancer using the self love techniques in her book, You Can Heal Your Life, cementing her philosophy that "what we believe about ourselves generally becomes true." Some people consider this sort of personal self-discovery selfish, but it has implications that go way beyond the individual. Our own lack of love is reflected in the world's lack of love. War, conflict, environmental damage and violence are largely born of the lower consciousness drives for security, sensations and power, which entail feelings of insecurity, boredom and a desire to manipulate. If we could evolve a stage further as individuals, continue our spiritual and mental growth, overcome the hang-ups and fears created in the past, forgive the hurt, understand that we are in command of our minds and that happiness comes from within, we will be well on the way to lessening the suffering of the earth. The first step to world change really is one the individual can take. As Louise L. Hay points out, "the world tends to act as our mirror." If we want a loving life we must think loving thoughts. If we want a loving world we must first love ourselves. The more we love ourselves, the more others will love us; the more we love others, the more others will love themselves. Far from being selfish, self love is the first manageable step to spreading more love across the world. Self love is an unlimited source of power and strength. It is the foundation of courage and confidence to do what we want to do, to be what we want to be, because we are not relying on others or seeking their approval. As we know, "goodness" in the eyes of our society is not necessarily truth. To find truth we must follow our hearths and trust our own judgment. This is impossible to achieve fully unless we love and respect ourselves all the time. However, by struggling to love ourselves more, we develop empathy: we become more able to give to others struggling with life, because we have developed our understanding of their problems by admitting and trying to deal with our own. Be gentle with yourself. Discovering self love is like becoming a child again. It is falling in love with life. Slowly, gradually, almost timidly poking our heads round the corner and saying "WOW," wide-eyed and smiling hugely. Bit by bit our efforts are rewarded. We find our minds expanding, beginning to flow internally: a trickle to a stream, to a river, to an ocean without limitations. The sparkle of our minds begins to fascinate us; the openness, the boundless possibilities. We can discover an infinite capacity for love and sharing, joy and bliss, passion and fun. We can discover the strength we all have to overcome anything latent inside us. The past, present and future are one, all, everything and nothing. We can grow to love our capacity for transcending the material world and for understanding what it is to BE. We may still get in spots and sometimes we may have a shitty day, but I guess no one said that evolution was easy.

:-) LOVE YOURSELF :-)
Comments: 4 shoot - rock,paper,scissor.

Time:8:17 pm.
i feel like crying
i feel like diein
Comments: rock,paper,scissor.

LiveJournal for Ann-Marie.

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